


lies

by agentcalliope



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Daisy and Jemma talk about what happened with Fitz, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Female Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Male-Female Friendship, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 14:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14190996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentcalliope/pseuds/agentcalliope
Summary: telling yourself a lie, over and over again, either makes you believe it, or makes you wish you could





	lies

* * *

 

 

It’s not that Daisy’s avoiding Jemma. It’s not that at all. Why would she be? She’s just—she’s just been _really_ busy. Trying to figure out where Coulson is, trying to figure out how to _not_ destroy the world. Trying to figure out how she feels about everything that’s happened, and everything that will happen. She’s been so super, duper busy that when she volunteers to look for batteries, she finds herself sliding against the wall and sitting on the floor. Closes her eyes. Just for a moment, she tells herself. To remember how to breathe.

 

But here’s the thing about lies– telling yourself a lie, over and over again, either makes you believe it, or makes you wish you could.

 

She doesn’t even think she fell asleep, but she doesn’t even hear the door creak open, or hear the footsteps come closer.

“Daisy?”

Her eyes open wide, and she quickly stands up, brushing imaginary dust off of her clothes.

“Jemma!” She exclaims, painting on a bright smile. “Hey. I was, uh, just looking for batteries.”

Jemma narrows her eyes, glances down towards Daisy’s hands.

“Batteries.” Jemma repeats.

“Yeah. May’s probably waiting for me, so I should go. Bye—”

“Have you been avoiding me?”  
Daisy blinks. She says what she’s been saying to herself for days. “No. I’ve just been really busy.”

“You’ve been avoiding me, Daisy.” The way Jemma crosses her arms and tilts her chin up. The way she stares, and the way she speaks.

Daisy knows Jemma doesn’t believe her one bit.

It’s not until Jemma’s face softens, and her eyes lose their fire and her arms hang at her sides that Daisy realizes that she’s reached up and started fingering the bandage on her neck.

She quickly drops her arm and looks away.

 

“Oh, Daisy.”

“It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“No you’re not.” Jemma answers, taking a step forward. She takes Daisy’s hands in hers, and lowers them both to the ground. They hold each other close, and they hold each other tight. Sitting against the wall, side by side.

“I’m sorry. I’m sure... I _know_ that it’s harder for you.”

Jemma swallows. “It’s not about me right now.” She brushes a strand of hair away from Daisy’s face. “It’s about _you_.”

 

Daisy closes her eyes. Tries to remember how to breathe. Tries to remember all the truths she’s ever told herself, tries to make herself say them aloud.

“I will never forgive him. I hate that he made me feel so powerless. I hate that he took away my choice. I hate how he believes he was right, and I hate that he didn’t care how it would hurt me.”

Daisy opens her eyes. Tries to remember how to breathe. Tries to remember all the lies she’s ever told herself, tries to make herself say them aloud.

“I hate him.”

Tries to make herself believe it.

 

Jemma takes a shuddering breath, leans forward and wipes away the tears on Daisy’s cheeks. “I can’t make excuses for him.”

“I don’t want you too.” Daisy reaches over and wipes away Jemma’s own tears.

“I know. But you’re right.” Jemma continues. “What he did, and how he did it, is horrible. Unforgivable. But I don’t think that he didn’t care it would hurt you. I think that he’s hating himself the way you’re hating him, now, and I think that he hates that you will never forgive him.”

 

“I don’t want to feel this way.” Daisy croaks. “I want it to not hurt anymore. I want to hate what he did, but not hate _him_. I want us to be the way we were.”

 

Jemma sighs, rests her head on Daisy’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t forgive him,” she says, quietly. “It won't be the way it was before, but one day, it won’t hurt so much. One day, you won’t think you hate him anymore.”

 

But here’s the thing about lies—sometimes, they aren’t. Sometimes, they’re the truth. And telling yourself the truth, over and over again, either makes you believe it, or makes you wish you could.


End file.
